you are not my typewriter
{Thursday, January 13, 2005 . gym = totally dumb}

If you can't do, teach. If you can't teach, teach gym.

I've determined that the vast majority of gym teachers are certifiably retarded. My gym teacher would be one of them.

I'm a busy gal. I'm a mover. I'm a shaker. I have a lot of classes I want to take, and stupid bitch-ass classes like gym get in the way. Incidentally, I think Illinois is about the only place in the WORLD where students are required to take four years of gym before they graduate. That's twice the amount of science we're required to take. So anyway, rather than waste my precious learning time running around in circles, I opted to do "Early Bird Gym," which is before school every morning. So every morning, I get up at 5:30, cry just a little, and trudge disparingly to school where my soul is summarily confiscated. Luckily, I'm allowed to take gym "pass/fail," meaning that as long as I get an A or a B, gym won't count toward my GPA. I mean, I'll get credit for the class, but it won't pull my GPA down if I get a B. Or an A, for that matter, since I take a lot of weighted classes. I just discovered that I'm getting a C. Why, you ask? Because I was absent a few times. There were a couple of days where I just didn't FEEL like dragging my saggy ass through the rain and sleet and snow to listen to emo music and lift weights. I, of course, being the dubtiful child I am, came in after school and made up for what I missed. I discovered today, however, that this is of no account. Mrs. Keely, my deeply-tanned and disturbingly large gym teacher, told me that I CAN'T make up some of the points I am missing. That NO MATTER WHAT I DO, even if the absence was EXCUSED, my grade will still suffer. She opts to tell me this a week before the grading period ends. I could fucking kill her.

Readers, you all know gym teachers are fucking retarded. I invite you to tell your Retarded Gym Teacher stories here in my comment section. Let all that pent up rage come pouring out.

posted at 6:13 PM by Alison


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