Don't you dig how I beg for comments and then don't write for three days? I sure do.

I'm going to talk about band for awhile.

Tuesday was the Bandquet celebrating this fantabulous year we've had. I feel bad for what I'm about to say - I know I should be more appreciative - but I hate the band boosters. They fund raise and do all sorts of wonderful things, but they're just obnoxious. They micro-manage to the point of absurdity. They perform tasks that student leaders could easily perform. They have a ridiculously overblown sense of their own importance. Mr. Cound and Mr. Grudzien got up to give speeches at the Bandquet in which they basically verbally fellated each other and it made me want to vomit. They talk as if fundraising were abolutely the most gloriously difficult/important thing they could possibly do. They're on a mission from God.

But then I had this conversation with Pappas today. She admitted to me that she really wasn't all that fond of the way the people involved with the band view it. It's a family - it's fun - it's all rainbows and smiles - and no one really cares about the music all that much. And I realized that I was kind of on their side. I mean, I like music. A lot. I'm very interested in it, but I'm not passionate about it the way she is. I want to become a band director because I think band is fun, not necessarily because I want to make magnificent music. And I really started to think about how that might not be so great. As she talked about how she wants nothing more than to be a great director and how she wants to share her abject love for music with her students, I began to feel guiltier and guiltier. I have never experienced anything like what she's talking about. I just think band is fun. I'm no great musician - and what's more, I don't WANT to be one. I don't care enough to practice for hours every day. I don't care enough to sit listening to recordings of the London Symphony until the wee hours of the morning. I like listening to the same crap I've listened to a thousand times. I'm cool with that. I'm okay with being a decent musician. So I'm sitting here writing complete bullshit on this scholarship essay about how devoted I am to music, and I feel like a complete fraud.

Cute funny stories tomorrow!

posted at 6:24 PM by Alison

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