First off, let me say that as a rule I try to avoid going to Espresso Royale. Espresso Royale is a chain of coffee houses that (I think? maybe?) only exists in Champaign-Urbana, but down here in Chambana (as the hipsters like to call it), there is an Espresso Royale on every damn corner. They serve mediocre food at ridiculously high prices; the service is awful; and they are always out of whatever you ask for.

But this morning, when I got up at 7:00 for an MI rehearsal, it occurred to me that this was the first Sunday morning where I had needed to eat breakfast here in Chambana. I peek at the University Dining schedule.

They don't open until 11:30.

So I go down to the local convenience store to get some cereal.

It's not open yet.

So I'm forced to go into that AWFUL Espresso Royale.

I get some fruit and a turnover, and as about the only decent things they serve are their hot beverages, I get a LARGE yerba mate latte with SOY MILK.

SOY MILK

SOY MILK

SOY MILK.

So the freaking college kid behind the counter hands me my tea. And I taste it. And it's very much lacking in that distinct, soy-ish taste. You know, that nutty, grainy soy milk taste.

So I say, "This is soy milk, right?"

"Right."

So I trust him, because maybe my sense of taste was obscured by the temperature of the tea or something.

So I chug the whole LARGE yerba mate latte, supposedly with soy milk.

And now I feel like someone is taking a weed whacker to my innards.

posted at 5:48 PM by Alison

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