The other day, I was sitting at my computer, checking my e-mail, while my roommate watched Laguna Beach.

I was like, "Fuck this shit. I'm leaving."

So I went over to ISR to get a snack.

It was empty, and there was a tv there, so I think, "Finally! Maybe I can watch something decent!"

Of course, it was three o'clock in the afternoon, so nothing was on. Since I'm only a pseudo-intellectual, I only watch the news when nothing else is on. Hey, at least I watch the news.

So I turn on CNN.

Then this CHICK comes and plops her fat, tan ass down on the couch next to me and goes, "Are you watching this?"

Yes. Yes I am fucking watching this. But maybe she has good taste, I think. Maybe she'll magically find good television programming where I couldn't. I have faith in humankind!

"No," I say. "You can watch what you like."

And of course, the fat, tan chick in the Hollister hoodie turns on

EMFUCKINGTEEVEE.

And Laguna Beach is on.

My mom really likes shows like that. I don't think she watches Laguna Beach per se, but she's always really liked watching The Real World, which is essentially exactly the same as Laguna Beach. She thinks it's funny. She likes to watch those shows and chuckle to herself and say, "Oh, how ridiculous. No one could be that stupid."

But people ARE that stupid. And those people are my brethren.

It really makes me sad. I wish I could believe that everybody watched Laguna Beach in the same spirit in which my mother watches The Real World, but I don't think they do. I think they genuinely enjoy hearing girls with mild mental retardation pontificate about "relationships." I think they identify with it.

I feel so lonely.

But perhaps, as the rap video my roommate is currently watching says, I should, "Save the hatin', 'cuz you don't know."

posted at 4:50 PM by Alison

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